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The Lone Voice

by Brooke Leigh Sheldon on July 25, 2010

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Sometimes a lone voice in a crowd is not really a lone voice. On those occasions, we may need to stop and listen to find out we aren’t the only out there and to realize we are only alone if we chose to be.

Moments Count Journal - Crowded Mound

Music Credit: Kevin MacLeod

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Lauren RosenfeldThe other day I was telling my teenage daughter how odd it is (if you think about it — which I do) that if you are having trouble with some object — let’s say a cell phone that loses it’s signal — it’s considered completely normal, perfectly reasonable behavior to curse that object and treat it roughly. You might say something like “You @%&** piece of junk! Why are you doing this to me?!” You might slam it down and push it away from you in disgust. On the other hand, if you were to do the opposite — thank the object, cradle it lovingly, and appreciate it every time it worked — well, then people would think you were a complete lunatic. If you overheard a co-worker at their desk saying, “Good morning, dear pen. Thank you for flowing with ink every time I need to write something. I really appreciate you. I can always rely on you,” you would think that person had gone completely round the bend. But if you heard that same person muttering obscenities at their slow computer, you would feel that they were just acting as any normal, sane person would if their computer were failing them at a critical moment.

Like the mother of the world, touch each being as if it were your beloved child.

I just think it’s odd, I told my daughter, that if we treat objects as adversaries we find that to be sane behavior, while treating objects as friends would indicate your being out of touch with reality. How wonderful would it be, I asked her, if we treated everything in the world (whether a living, breathing creature or an inanimate object) lovingly — as we would a child or a friend.

My daughter laughed and said that just the previous night, she had removed her glasses to get ready for bed (her vision is quite blurry without her glasses) and saw what she thought was her black sweater lying on her bed. She went to grab the sweater and toss it to the floor. As soon as she grabbed the sweater though, it yowled. She pulled back her hand as soon as she realized that this was obviously not her sweater, but the family cat. As she smiled and recalled this story, she reflected that if she had treated her sweater with respect and gentleness, she would not have alarmed the cat.

As she finished telling me the story, she absently picked up a book that was lying out where we were sitting: a small volume called “The Buddha’s Little Instruction Book” by Jack Kornfield. She smiled and handed me the book. “This is a weird coincidence,” she said. I looked at the page that the book had opened to. It read, “Like the mother of the world, touch each being as if it were your beloved child.”

Of course, sometimes the world requires more than a gentle touch. It requires firmness, strength, direction. As I told a friend recently when we discussed this idea of treating the world as beloved: when a child’s bone is broken, it sometimes requires firm force to be reset, then needs to be splinted until it can be healed well enough to bear weight and grow in a healthy direction once again. But this action, though it may be painful, is not done with violent force or the intention to cause harm.

Treating the world as beloved means we touch the world with the intention of bringing healing, comfort, joy, and strength. It requires us to be lovingly aware. And that awareness requires us to have the wisdom to know when we must be gentle and when we must be firm; when we gaze with adoration and when we move to take action.

If we treat the world lovingly, we will never fail it, or ourselves.

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Some of life’s quirky moments get infused with a mysterious mixture of timing and poignancy and against all odds, manage to stay etched upon our awareness forever. An interesting conversation I had with my Dad many years ago still lingers with me in that kind of vivid detail. When I recall that day and our conversation, I polish a gem of personal wisdom that applies to all of us, offering the promise of making our lives easier, better and more fulfilling. I’d like to pass this little gem on to you.

Photo Credit: LightOnDude

On a clear, blue-sky, blue-sea day in Florida, my father and I sat in matching deck chairs overlooking an inland waterway. The early morning calm, the sea taste in the air and the sun’s gentle touch seemed to create an alchemical magic that primed us for an intriguing exchange. “Hey, Dad,” I said unceremoniously, “what do you think I’m going to do with my life? I mean, what could I really be good at?” Even as the words escaped my mouth, my mind became entangled with doubt and insecurity.

“The thing you will do better than everyone else,” Dad began, “is the thing that will come to you so naturally, so easily,” he continued, with a casual flip of his hand, “that you will write it off as valueless.”

I swiveled to look at him. My brain cued to full attention.

“The very thing that will set you apart will be so easy,” he said, bearing down on the last word, “so effortless for you…,” he looked up at the sky with a wistful smile, “…that you will think, ‘Oh, this is no big deal, everyone can do this.’ But that, right there,” he emphasized with a little jab of his finger in the air, “will be the thing that you do better than anyone else.” I started to laugh as my Dad became the entertainer. “That,” he said, looking at me straight in the eyes, “is your real talent. That easy thing is really your greatest strength and your greatest gift.”

At the time, I knew my Dad’s advice was good, though it would take me years to realize it had been great. He uttered a truly universal human truth that day: Our greatest traits are often those that remain invisible to us, because they come through us with such a natural, unhindered flow.

As a society, we tend to value only that which requires struggle. We seem to have collectively absorbed the idea that sweat and strain produce the best results, while we remain mistrustful of relaxed gain and easy success.

How remarkable it is, then, that our most beautiful “work” often comes haphazardly, with no apparent or intended effort. Maybe we have a knack for inspiring children, organizing chaos, speaking perfect words to a friend in grief, fixing anything we touch, dreaming up incredible travel ideas, encouraging cooperation, seeing the big picture or peeling off a dozen creative ideas for someone else without blinking. And we are baffled when someone makes a huge, complimentary fuss over us while we are “just doing nothing.”

The gem in this for all of us is the impetus to start examining our moments of real ease to see if we are in the presence of overlooked brilliance. The next time you are complimented for “no reason,” stop and think. You might discover a new career possibility, an easier solution to a problem, or perhaps just some much needed self-appreciation. As you start to organize your life around your natural gifts, it just might happen that the easy thing will become the ticket to your success, confidence and ultimate happiness.

Emily L. Butler is a creativity coach and holistic health educator who maintains a private practice in Manhattan and offers workshops, guest speaking events and retreats throughout the East Coast. Connect with her at AscendanceHolisticHealing.

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I have a problem with “hate”.

April 10, 2010

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How do we define who we are?
How will we define what we are to become?
How can we define what we will create?
Now, where do we begin?

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Time Machine Set: Your Mission is Confirmed

February 21, 2010

Music Credit:  Kevin MacLeod
All systems are go!  Everything has been arranged.  But I will tell you now, you only have 6 hours to do the job and do it right.  This mission is yours, it has been chosen especially for you.  I can get you back to the right time and place and then return [...]

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Changing the World

January 31, 2010

You want to get involved in helping to make the world a better place. You see so many places that need your help.  But there are 6.8 billion people on the planet.  You see so many things that need to be done.  There are so many demands on your time, your attention, your energy, your [...]

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The wisdom of the black bear cub

January 17, 2010

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With so many points in our lives where we can’t stop, where we have to push through and accomplish the goals, meet the expectations, fulfill the needs, we can’t forget that pushing so hard means we leave important things behind.  What can the black bear cub teach us about the important [...]

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It could happen to you…

December 6, 2009

You are walking one lovely day, without a care in the world, when a very unexpected craft lands in front of you. You will be offered the opportunity of a lifetime. What will you do?

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Thank you for the kindness

November 29, 2009

It can be very difficult to be kind to someone who has been unkind to you; to someone who has betrayed you, hurt you.  And yet, there is a gift in being able to remember that the person who caused that hurt set up a dynamic that allowed you to reach inside, find the hurt, [...]

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The great mystery …

November 20, 2009

Have you ever found yourself in love with someone who does not love you?
This is a painful place to ponder, for no matter how many people surround you in your life, on this wounded wayfare you are forced to wander alone.
Rejection.
Loss.
Hurt.
Pain.
And these rips and tears in the private papers holding the ruminative stanzas that define [...]

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