The secret to building self-confidence

Feb 2, 2011 by

The secret to building self-confidence










I am currently working on a new project with a colleague and we were brainstorming a few days ago about the best way to move the project ahead. I love brainstorming, the incredible feeling of feeling your mind working, moving, ticking and expanding. So, in my usual way, I shot out some pretty aggressive goals. Well, it apparently caught my friend off-guard, because he said to me, “How do you do that? Where do you get the confidence to push ideas that far?” It’s interesting to me how often some variation of that question gets tossed at me.

I had to smile. You see, I have actively sought in my life to live and work doing things I am passionate about. This has not always been a simple accomplishment. But, things we value do not often come without worthwhile energy applied and choices of consequence. Yet, one thing I have always trusted is my movement forward.

Apparently, because this sense of purpose appears so completely unwavering in me, people are often puzzled about how I developed the self-confidence I possess. People ask me what my “secret” is.

Please, c’mon over here. Hang out with me for a few minutes. I’ll tell you my “secret” to building self-confidence.


Do things you’re not sure you can do.

Yep. That’s it!

It comes down to that level of simplicity. But, it is not simple. Because you see by doing things you’re not sure you can do you challenge yourself as no one else can. It requires that you trust your closest companion in this and every endeavor – you.

By trying what you have not tried before you must attempt to actively trust yourself.

I have found, with experience and over time, that since only I am with myself throughout each day, all 86,400 seconds of every one of them in my lifetime, I am committed to what I seek to experience. Therefore, I am worthy of my own trust.

So you see you and I start at the same place. You too, are the only one who is with you throughout each day, all 86,400 seconds of every one of them in your lifetime. Are you committed to your experience? Do you recognize that you are the one most uniquely worthy of your own trust?

Each attempt you make, each time you trust yourself enough to do the things you are not sure you can do you practice having confidence in yourself. In addition, every time you and your self-trust succeed in trying what was the previously untried possibility you have more confidence in what your “self” can do.

Okay, you know the “secret”. Now, go out and live it!!!

Photo credit: Michelle Belanger @ Flickr


  1. Thank you, dear Janie!! I think you have an excellent point. And you know me, I so truly believe that the unique vision of each individual’s mind brings such amazing and new possibilities to every situation, I just want everyone to jump in!! The water’s great!!! Love you, Janie!!!

  2. I am glad it hit a chord for you, sweet one!!

  3. LOL!!! You got it!!! I love to toss the ideas around and see what becomes of them!! : )

  4. Sweet Evie, I feel that warmth, love and energy of yours constantly!!! And, I value that energy more than you could possibly know!! Thank you, and please know I’m sending all that love and warmth right on back to ya’!!! b 🙂

  5. Thank you, my dear friend. And, this is something I know we both share, a continuous movement toward every way we can see or reach to enrich or energize the greater good. Peace in return, b

  6. Donna Morask

    “Each moment is a place you’ve never been” writes Mark Strand
    Norman Vincent Peale writes, “The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have.”…. and Clara Barton said, “The door that nobody else will go in at, seems always to swing open widely for me.”
    Wise words from others who too know this secret of self confidence. they also operated from their passion; passion resides deep within us and feels like a fire burning hot that will not be out…until we finally face our fear and take that leap of faith with forward momentum. I know this to be true, then, now and likely in the future.
    Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, “I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
    This is the thing I have always known about you Brooke Leigh… your forward momentum will not be stopped, nor should it. Peace Donna

  7. Eve forcinel

    Brooke, you have just written my life. I have had to step up even as a child and do new things and trust that I could be up to the task. The excitement and energy level sometimes seemed to those around me super human. Lord knows I was scared sometimes but still I prevailed in my belief that there was nothing I could not acomplish as long as I stood strong. Others came in and practically begged to be a part of my mission just for the excitement. I challenged myself and amazed myself in my acomplishments that I had no previous professional training. I learned and led as I went along. I am retired now but still have that spirit and see things that I wish I had the youth and strength to storm into the fray. I know you are a fighter and I so admire your courage. Loving you from Apple Valley.

  8. Love it Brooke – another great post – I think a lot of us just don’t trust our own thoughts of success

  9. if it doesn’t involve computer searches and you need help I sometimes come up with unique and brilliant ideas.

  10. Dearest Paula, as you know, I value “the heroine of life experimentation” within you very much!! 🙂

  11. Paula O' Sullivan

    Brilliant article Brooke, and yes I agree, we learn new strengths when we step out of our comfort zone, and this does give us the confidence to try again. Sometimes we let the fear of what may happen, impede us. If we can get past this initial fear, and step bravely forward into the unknown, unlimited possibilities await !

    Keep up the good work !

    Paula xxx