The Lone Voice

by Brooke Leigh Sheldon on July 25, 2010

iPhones use the download link to listen

Sometimes a lone voice in a crowd is not really a lone voice. On those occasions, we may need to stop and listen to find out we aren’t the only out there and to realize we are only alone if we chose to be.

Moments Count Journal - Crowded Mound

Music Credit: Kevin MacLeod

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Moments Count Journal author Elizabeth WescottI don’t consider defiance a great character trait. In fact, I’d probably remove it from the list of my character traits, given the chance. Not that I think that’s wise, but because I’m embarrassed this trait is part of my personality.

Let me tell you a story. As a woman who has had to relate to defiance as a visitor – well, even a squatter, on this occasion, it did very well by me.

My father was a brilliant surgeon. He was also an alcoholic, which cost him his medical practice and the ability to relate to his eight children. In the last couple of decades of his life, he would drink himself into a coma about every 18 months. He’d be whisked off to the hospital and – probably through some very odd mix of luck, medicine, divine intervention, and a will to live (I did say an ‘odd mix’) – he would pull through.

These occurrences were not something his way grown children were told about. It was done in secrecy – with the exception of one son who would be called to help get him to the hospital – no ambulance – what might the neighbors think? Sometime after Dad would come home from the hospital – whispers would begin to circulate through the family. By the time several months had passed, we might all know about it.

Then there was a change in the pattern. We were told shortly after he was admitted. But, we were not to go see him, to call him or to in any way acknowledge where he was.

This is where defiance came to visit me, again. Alcoholism may have robbed me of a father, but it didn’t rob me of my love for him. I was incensed we were being told we weren’t allowed to visit him. We ranged in age from 35 (me) to 45. Certainly, we were capable of making some mature decisions. And I am a firm believer in the healing power of love and honesty. It’s so often what we hide that puts us in harm’s way, while acknowledgement may very well free us.

The Moments Count Journal 'man'

Photo Credit: Alan Hudson Photography

I went to see my dad. I was shaking in my boots. I knew I was breaking family rules and though I was doing it to challenge the absurdity of this situation, not just for myself, but for all of my brothers and sisters, there might well be no one who would support me. I didn’t call ahead. I just showed up, late one morning hoping to find him resting in bed. But I found him sitting on a commode. [click to continue reading…]

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Lauren RosenfeldWhen we adopted our oldest son from Kazakhstan in 2001, he was just a few months shy of his 4th birthday. He had spent all of his days since birth in the orphanage, and in those years he had never owned a thing. Not a book. Not a toy. Not even a stitch of clothing. Everything that he touched was communal property. The best coats, pants, socks, and shoes were claimed by those children who woke up early enough to grab them first. And toys were rare commodities that were fought over during the day and then put away, out of reach in cabinets at night.

One day when we came to visit him in the orphanage, we saw that he had something clutched tightly in his palm. His hand was squeezed so tightly around it, his knuckles were white. When we asked if we could see what he had, he shook his head “No,” and shoved his hand deep into his pocket. What treasure, we wondered, did he have hidden away in his palm? What precious toy had he managed to remove from his living quarters? What did he have that was so important to him that he could not imagine relinquishing?
[click to continue reading…]

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Somebody’s listening

July 18, 2010

iPhones use the download link to listen
Shhh, come on over….. sit with me, while I talk with my friend. Hey, you may know ‘em!! Or maybe you have a friend just like mine……

_

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New Orleans At Dawn

July 15, 2010

I knew at that moment the reality of my life for the past several years. The consequences of my past actions and alliances crushed me in sorrow. I painted “New Orleans at Dawn” in the fall of that year. It is a celebration of my introduction and renewal of spirit connections to the council and spirit of the grandmothers and their confidence that I was on a path they believed to be the equitable resolution for the consequences of my past behavior.

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Dear Mr. Very Tall Homeless Man,

July 12, 2010

Dear Mr. Very Tall Homeless Man,
You should know I’m pretty burned with you right now. Hurt, even. You know that I know of your existence on my construction project, after hours. I haven’t minded. You’ve been respectful. And I have only had to move your things into an unfinished closet a couple of times. Generally, [...]

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At this spot on the path

July 10, 2010

iPhones use the download link to listen
Sometimes we wish those we love would make different choices for their lives.
These choices of theirs can mean they will move down a different path than the one we are traveling on, creating distance or separation between us that we do not want.
How can we handle these spots on [...]

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PTSD: What a difference a year makes, a success story.

July 7, 2010

There’s a lot of bad news going around: suicides up, PTSD wrecking lives and families, not much constructive help in sight. But here’s a story that’s GOOD news…about how much progress one combat vet with severe, chronic PTSD — for 40 years(!) — made in just a year of trying integrative medicine techniques and therapies, [...]

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How To Be Loving? Treat everything you touch as you would a beloved child

July 5, 2010

If your cell phone quits working it’s considered perfectly normal behavior to say something like “You @%&** piece of junk! Why are you doing this to me?!” On the other hand, if you were to do the opposite — thank the object, cradle it lovingly, and appreciate it every time it worked — well, then people would think you were a complete lunatic. Why???

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Practice Makes Perfect: Being aware of what you practice.

July 2, 2010

To attain goals in music, business, love, diet, exercise, finance, or to overcome obstacles the first step is to slow down. Choose attainable goals. I suggested my student work on just a couple of measures (small segments) at a slow enough speed that she could stay mindful.

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